


Terminal

by fallenangel218



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenangel218/pseuds/fallenangel218
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim has been really good at hiding his pain from his friends... until he screws up, and Gibbs notices something off. Gibbs has no idea <em>how</em> off, until Tim finally reveals what he's been hiding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: 
> 
> **This story involves a canon pairing. And Angst. You have been warned.**
> 
> \- "I"m Sorry" fic for hazelmom, for me forgetting that she won the bidding on the NFA Nepal Auction. I'm sorry, hun! :(
> 
> Inspired by lyrics from the song _On Bended Knee_ by Boyz II Men. I randomly heard it on the radio last night, and this story made its way into my imagination, and wouldn't leave. 
> 
>  
> 
> _"Can we go back to the days our love was strong?_  
>  Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?  
> Can somebody tell me how to get things back  
> the way they used to be?"

  
  
Tim fumbled with his keys as he unlocked his apartment. It was nearing midnight. He was coming off a long day at the office... Gibbs was on the warpath about their latest case, and they had to practically beg to be let loose, before they all collapsed from lack of sleep. Tim, however, felt wide awake.  
  
He finally managed to unlock the door. He slipped into the apartment and hurriedly closed the door behind him, locking it securely. He dropped his keys on the side table by the door, and made a beeline for the kitchen as he untied his tie and pulled it off. He tossed his tie onto the kitchen counter and opened up the refrigerator. From it he pulled a bottle of sweet red wine, and retrieved a glass from the cupboard. He expertly uncorked it, and quickly poured himself a glass. He took it and the bottle back into the living room, and sat down on the couch. The first glass was gone quickly, and he poured himself another glass.  
  
**NCISNCISNCISNCIS**  
  
Tim woke up on his living room floor the next morning. He was jolted upright by his cell phone vibrating in his pants pocket. He took it out and turned the alarm off. As he stumbled to his feet, a headache caught up with him, and his hands flew to the side of his head.  
  
_Damn it... I screwed up last night._  
  
He made his way to the bathroom and took several ibuprofen, and started getting ready for work.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Tim was showered, shaved and dressed to the nines.  
  
_You'd never know I'm hung over..._  
  
Satisfied that he looked all right, Tim gathered his creds, phone and keys, and headed out for work.  
  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**  
  
Gibbs looked at his watch for the fifth time that morning. It was 0730, and McGee had not arrived at the office. He'd always run his team with military precision, and Tim had taken to it loyally. He was never late... in fact he'd only been late a couple of times in his entire tenure at NCIS. He reached for his desk phone, intending to call Tim to find out where he was. As he dialed, the elevator dinged, and Tim stepped out. He walked quietly to his desk and powered on his computer. Gibbs hung up the phone and got up to confront him.  
  
"Where have you been, McGee?"  
  
"Accident on the Beltway... I had to get off and I got lost trying to get here on the side roads."  
  
Gibbs crossed his arm and raised an eyebrow at his Agent... a move he knew could make anyone tell him the truth about anything.  
  
Tim wasn't fazed, and didn't say a word.  
  
Gibbs put his palms on the front of Tim's desk, and leaned in authortitatively.  
  
"If you're late again, I'm docking your pay. Am I understood?"  
  
Tim ignored him as he typed in his computer password. Gibbs reached out and head slapped him, hard. Tim winced for a moment, but quickly schooled his features, and finally looked up at his Boss.  
  
"Understood, Boss."  
  
"Good. Get to work on breaking into that e-mail account."  
  
"On it."  
  
Gibbs stood there for a minute, as McGee went about his morning routine of checking his e-mail, then went back to his own desk. He had case reports from the previous day to file, and he had Tony out canvassing for leads on their current murder investigation. - a Petty Officer found shot outside a bar in the District. He tried to focus on Tony's preliminary report, but his eyes kept darting upward, and he found himself staring at Tim over the top of his glasses. Something was off about him today, and Gibbs had a gut feeling that Tim was hiding something.  
  
_I have to find out what's going on with him... this isn't his typical morning disposition._  
  
Tim suddenly got up from his desk, and headed toward the Men's room. Gibbs intended to follow him, but decided against it... he'd give Tim some space, for now.  
  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**  
  
Tim rushed for a stall as soon as he was in the Men's room. He dropped to his knees just in time to retch violently. He'd still been feeling nauseous from the night before, and he needed it to pass, so he could go on with his day without anyone noticing.  
  
He sat there on his knees for what he felt was only a few minutes, before he managed to pull himself to his feet. He wiped his face and flushed, and exited the stall. He made his way shakily to the sink and washed his hands. He splashed water on his face.  
  
_Get a grip on yourself... if anyone asks, you are just feeling under the weather._  
  
Tim reached into the pocket of his blazer and pulled out a travel-size mouthwash. He quickly gargled and spit, and rinsed the sink. He put the bottle back into the inside pocket of his coat, checked his appearance in the mirror, and headed back out to the squad room. He nearly bumped into Gibbs halfway there.  
  
"Where have you been?" Gibbs asked, annoyed.  
  
"I was only in the head for a few minutes, Boss. What's the big deal?"  
  
"You were in there for almost a half hour. Are you feeling all right today?"  
  
"To be honest, I'm feeling a bit under the weather," Tim lied. "I'll be fine, though."  
  
Gibbs crossed his arms and glared daggers into him. Tim didn't waver.  
  
"Get your ass back to work on that e-mail account. I want to see it before lunch. Understood?"  
  
"Yes, Boss."  
  
Tim stalked off to his desk, leaving Gibbs alone in the corridor.  
  
**NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS**  
  
The rest of Tim's day was spent working on the case, and avoiding Gibbs. He knew his Boss was suspicious that something was wrong, and Tim sought to convince him otherwise. By the time Gibbs let them go for the night, the Lead Agent was staring daggers into him. Tim quickly packed his things and made for the elevator. He was hoping it'd come, and he could escape the building alone. It finally dinged, and he nearly leapt inside. Unfortunately, Gibbs was at his heels.  
  
_Damn it._  
  
The ride to the parking garage was ominously silent. He knew Gibbs was going to follow him, and surely catch him in a lie. Or two.  
  
The elevator opened at the garage level, and Gibbs stepped out next to Tim.  
  
"You need a ride tonight?" Gibbs asked.  
  
Tim stopped short and turned to face his Boss.  
  
"I'm good, Boss. I drove here today."  
  
"Then why did I see you walking through the gates this morning?"  
  
Tim's eyes darted to his feet.  
  
"You've been lying to me all day, McGee. I want an explanation, and I want it right now."  
  
Tim remained silent. He wasn't sure he could explain his way out of it this time.  
  
"I'm driving you home tonight. Use the time to think about why you lied to me."  
  
Tim nodded, and followed Gibbs to his truck.  
  
**NCISNCISNCISNCIS**  
  
Gibbs didn't say a word the entire drive to Tim's apartment. Tim stared out the window, trying to think of what he was going to tell Gibbs when they got to his apartment. He knew that another lie would get him into more trouble than he was already in, but he wasn't sure he was ready to tell the real truth... not yet.  
  
As soon as Gibbs turned off the car in the parking lot in front of the apartment building, Tim got out and started toward the door. He heard a car door behind him, and footsteps coming closer to his own. He felt Gibbs' hand on his shoulder, and he felt himself being turned around on his feet.  
  
"Did I say you could walk away from me?"  
  
Tim lowered his eyes.  
  
"No."  
  
"Are you ready to tell me why you've been lying to me?"  
  
Tim shook his head.  
  
"It's not that simple."  
  
Gibbs' features softened a bit.  
  
"What's bothering you?"  
  
Tim turned and finished his trek into the building. He couldn't tell him - he just couldn't. Nobody could know. This was something he had to go through alone.  
  
He rushed up the stairs to his door, and shoved his key into the lock. Unfortunately, Gibbs was right behind him.  
  
_Son of a bitch... why can't he just leave me the hell alone?_  
  
"We need to talk, Tim."  
  
"I'm not up for it right now... I just want to be alone."

"It's not a request."   
  
Tim nodded and opened the door, and Gibbs was assailed by the smell of stale alcohol. Gibbs pushed past him to get into the apartment. Tim scrambled inside behind him, and shut the door.  
  
The first thing Gibbs noticed was the disarray of the place. Clothes were strewn everywhere, there were papers and books all over what is usually an immaculate desk, and several dirty glasses on the small dining table.  
  
He moved into the kitchen, and his breath caught in his throat. The sink was filled with more dirty glasses. The dishwasher was filled with dishes, and clearly hadn't been run in ages. There were empty wine bottles all over the kitchen counter and the floor by the trash can. An examination of the refrigerator found two more bottles of wine, and a bottle of rum, all unopened.  
  
The pieces of the puzzle were fitting together perfectly.  
  
Gibbs went back into the main area of the apartment. Tim was leaning against his door, looking at his feet. Gibbs crossed the room to his youngest Agent.  
  
"Tim... all of this... it's not you. What's wrong?"  
  
Tim shook his head. He was trying to keep his composure, to not break down in front of Gibbs, but it was becoming harder with every passing second. He felt Gibbs' fingertips on his chin, and suddenly he was looking into Gibbs' eyes.  
  
"You don't have to hide your pain, Tim. Tell me what happened to make you want to do... _this_..." he gestured to the disheveled apartment.  
  
Tim took a shaky breath. It was now or never... he was going to find out sooner or later, anyway.  
  
"It's Delilah... she left me."  
  
**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
Gibbs took Tim by the arm and led him gently to the couch.   
  
"Sit down, I'll be right back."   
  
Tim nodded tiredly. Gibbs disappeared into the kitchen. Moments later, Tim heard the sound of his coffee maker steeping. A small smile ghosted across his face, until he heard the sound of empty bottles being thrown into a garbage bag. Gibbs was cleaning his kitchen.   
  
Moments later, Gibbs came into the living area, carrying his black hefty bag of recyclables, and cleared out the rest of the empty bottles sitting around the place. He set the bag by the door, and proceeded to clean up the dirty glasses and dishes. He disappeared into the kitchen again, and Tim heard the sound of his dishwasher filling up. He put his head into his hands as the headache he thought he'd gotten rid of started to come back. The smell of coffee made him bring his head up again. Gibbs was coming toward him, holding a cup in each hand. He handed one to Tim, and sat down on the couch next to him.   
  
"Thanks for cleaning that stuff up," Tim said sheepishly.   
  
"Not a problem, Tim."   
  
Gibbs took a sip of coffee and left things quiet for a moment. He watched Tim sip his coffee with shaky hands.   
  
"What happened between you and Delilah?" Gibbs asked gently.   
  
"That's the thing, Boss... I have no idea. We were... awesome. We talked on the phone every day. After a while the calls weren't as frequent, but I just figured she was busy with work. Then..."   
  
Tim took a long swig of his coffee, and reached into the pocket of his sport coat. From it he took a tattered envelope and handed it to Gibbs. Gibbs removed a well-worn piece of paper from the envelope. It was a handwritten letter.   
  
_Tim,_  
  
_I don't know where to begin this letter, so I'll just come out and say what I'm feeling._  
  
_Since the day we met, I knew you were a special person, and I've fallen more and more in love with you as time goes on. You've been my rock, and I'll always love you for that. Always._  
  
_I've been in Dubai for over a year and a half now. We promised each other that we'd make this work, no matter what it took. The phone calls, e-mails, skype conversations and letters have kept us connected, but there's something missing._  
  
_Every night, I sit here, looking down at the key to your apartment. Before I left, you gave it to me, and said I didn't have to decide until I came back to the States what I wanted to do._  
  
_I love you, Tim, more than anyone I've ever loved, and I guess maybe that scares me. I need some time... a break... to think about what I really want, and where I want to go. I'm so sorry, Babe... the last thing I want is to hurt you, but I need to do this, for both of us._  
  
_I love you so much... never forget._  
  
_Love, Delilah_   
  
  
Gibbs tipped the envelope upside down, and a key tumbled out into his palm.   
  
"Tim, I'm so sorry..."   
  
"How could she do this to me?" Tim suddenly spat out in anger. "How could she just write me a letter, tell me that she wants a break? What did I do to deserve this?"   
  
"Did you respond to this letter, Tim?"   
  
Tim took another gulp of coffee, and recalled the phone conversation he had with Delilah after reading the "Dear John" letter.   
  
\------------   
  
_a month earlier..._  
  
  
_"How could you send me a letter like this!" Tim shouted into the phone, pacing furiously in his living room._  
  
_"Tim, you have to understand--"_  
  
_"I understand perfectly, Delilah... if you don't want to be with me anymore, just fucking tell me right now, over the phone!"_  
  
_"Stop yelling!"_  
  
_"I want to know how you feel, Delilah... you send me a break-up letter telling me you want to 'find yourself' and you don't even have the decency to call me to explain WHY you sent me the letter! How am I supposed to feel right now?"_  
  
_"I don't know how I feel, Tim. I just don't."_  
  
_"Then maybe you sending that letter was for the best, then. Have a nice life."_  
  
_"Tim!"_  
  
_Tim slammed his finger into the "end" key and threw his phone across the living room, as tears welled up in his eyes._  
  
_He'd just lost the love of his life. Forever._   
  
\------------   
  
"I was so angry... I told her off and hung up like it was nothing. Like she was nothing." Tim wiped a stray tear from his cheek. "I screwed up the best thing that's ever happened to me. I could have tried to fix it, but I yelled at her, dismissed her, and hung up on her."   
  
Gibbs took a sip of his own coffee, and thought for a moment. While he wasn't the best person to hand out relationship advice, he couldn't let Tim beat himself up over what had happened.   
  
"Before I married Shannon, I broke up with her three times," Gibbs said quietly. Tim looked over at him, with an eyebrow raised.   
  
"You did?"   
  
"Yeah... it was stupid. Every time I came home on leave, we'd fight about something. The last time we broke up, I'd done it from Iraq, over the phone. I remember moping around the barracks, feeling guilty as hell, and I was underperforming in my morning drills. My CO took me aside and I told him what was bothering me. He granted me leave time that afternoon."   
  
"You flew all the way from Iraq?"   
  
"I showed up on her doorstep the next night in my fatigues. As soon as she opened the door, I dropped to my knees and asked her to marry me."   
  
Tim smiled and drank down the last of his coffee.   
  
"I love Delilah more than anything."   
  
"Tell her then... don't sit around your apartment trying to drink her away."   
  
Tim reached for his cell phone, but Gibbs laid a hand on his arm.   
  
"Sign the leave paperwork when you get back, Tim."   
  
Tim smiled genuinely for the first time in a month.   
  
"Thanks, Boss."   
  
Gibbs deposited his coffee cup in the kitchen, and left Tim alone for the night.   
  
**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

  
_You gotta believe in the spirit of love_  
 _It can heal all things_  
 _We won't hurt anymore_  
 _No I don't believe our love's terminal_  
 _I'm down on my knees, begging you please..._  
  
_~excerpt from "On Bended Knee," performed by Boyz II Men~_   
  
  
  
  
Tim woke up as the plane shifted in its downward descent. He looked out the window at the lights of Dubai. He'd never been there before. He'd been saving his leave time for a trip there, to spend time with Delilah.   
  
A slip of paper with Delilah's address on it was in his jeans pocket. He planned to go there as soon as he got off the plane. He had to see her immediately. He hadn't been able to sleep soundly since his talk with Gibbs. He had to do this. He couldn't imagine his life without Delilah in it.   
  
The plane finished its taxi on the runway, and the flight attendants gave the signal that it was all right to exit the plane. Tim jumped up, grabbed his bag from the overhead, and made his way to the ramp.   
  
There were several taxis waiting outside the airport. Tim flagged one down, and showed the driver the address where he needed to go. The driver nodded.   
  
Tim looked out at the city as the cab cruised along the highway. It was the middle of the night in Dubai, and the skyline was amazing. He stared out at the city as he formulated what he was going to say when Delilah opened her front door.   
  
Twenty minutes later, Tim was standing in front of Delilah's condo. He remembered seeing photographs of the place, when Delilah e-mailed him upon her arrival in Dubai. She'd been excited to be set up in a place so easily wheelchair accessible.   
  
He checked his watch. He'd reset it when he landed in Dubai, to account for the time change. It was the middle of the night. Would she even get up to answer the door?   
  
_This is no time to chicken out... get your ass up there and knock on the damn door!_   
  
Tim took a deep breath, and made his way up the walk to her door.   
  
_It's now or never..._   
  
He knocked loudly, and took a step backward. He heard noise coming from inside, and his stomach twisted at the thought of seeing Delilah in a few short moments.   
  
_You planned this entire thing... don't blow it now!_   
  
The door locks clicked, and she opened the door. Tim smiled inwardly at her appearance. She was wearing her favorite pajamas, and her hair was disheveled in that cute way that drove Tim crazy.   
  
"Tim?"   
  
"Hi."   
  
_Real smooth, Romeo..._   
  
"Come inside."   
  
Tim followed her in, and closed the door behind them. He took her in as she turned her chair to face him again. She looked like she'd been asleep before he knocked on her door.   
  
"What are you doing here?"   
  
"Apologizing to you over the phone wasn't good enough." Tim kneeled next to her chair, and gently reached for hands. She allowed him to put his hands on top of hers. "I screwed up... when I got your letter, I should have called and tried to fix whatever was wrong... instead I was angry, and I said some hurtful things..."   
  
"I cried for a week after that phone call."   
  
"I'm so sorry..." he lowered his eyes. "Please forgive me... I was such a jerk... I-I can't live without you, Delilah. I just can't do it."   
  
Delilah reached out and put a finger under Tim's chin. She lifted his head so she could look into his eyes. They were pleading with her. He'd flown all the way to Dubai for her.   
  
She pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Tim ran his fingers through her hair, taking her in completely.   
  
They finally parted, breathing hard. Tim caressed her cheek with his fingers.   
  
"I never want to lose you again," he said. "I love you, and I don't want to be with anyone else."   
  
Delilah wiped a tear from his cheek.   
  
"I love you too. I’m sorry for not seeing that sooner."   
  
Tim kissed her again, with more fire than he'd ever kissed her before.   
  
**END**


End file.
